Meeting somewhere between this shore and the other.

"Take a year off."

Sure, why not?

"Work with InterVarsity at Creighton."

Okaaaaaay?

"Follow me wherever I want you to go."

There's a gnawing, uneasy feeling that I get when I think about that last statement. I mean, I wish I didn't. I wish I could take those words, digest them, and get really excited about the possibilities. But my first reaction is to wonder why I should indeed follow wherever. The first two requests are challenging, but not all-together life-altering. The third request leaves no room for selfishness or my own planning.

2,000 years ago, a fisherman named Simon was confronted by Jesus on the shores of a sea. Put out a little from shore, he requested (you can follow along in Luke 5:1-11). A little while later, after pushing away from land, Jesus requested that they go to deeper water and drop the nets. Simon had just finished his day of work...and caught zero fish. It'd be like pulling into your driveway after a horrible day at work, having a guy hop into your car, and him saying "go back to work and try it again my way." Simon had a right to be confused...after all, he was the experienced fisherman. Yet, Simon did as Jesus said.

And then the sweet stuff happened.

By following Jesus' instructions, Simon got to experience Jesus in a whole new way. By assenting to the requests, Simon partook in a catch of fish that would put the guys from The Deadliest Catch TV show to shame. By saying yes to things that were a little unconventional and contrary to common fishing sense, Simon got to see Jesus for who he really is:

Someone who provides. Someone who can be trusted. Someone who knows what's best. Someone who is the Son of God.

I read that story and wonder what would have happened if Simon Peter had said "no thanks." What would have happened if Simon would've continued to clean his nets instead of heading out to sea? What would've happened if Simon hadn't shoved off from the shore?

Nothing.

No sweet nickname like "Rock." No miracles. No life-changing revelation of the Christ. No journey down a path that includes spreading the most important message of humankind and starting the Christian church.

The true life of Peter began when he met Jesus between the shores of the sea. He found his purpose when he encountered Jesus, but that only happened because he ventured to where Christ called him. And what happened on the Sea of Galilee gave Peter no real choice but to follow this man who had just turned his world upside down.

I want Peter's story to be my story.

I've put into deeper water and come to Creighton, but I want to meet Jesus this year somewhere between this shore and the other. This week. Today. I don't simply want to get to the "deeper water," say 'This is nice,' then head back to shore. I want to be blown away by how much wiser and more powerful God is than I am.

I want to catch two boat-fulls of God's goodness.

The "Ahoy!" moments.

So it's been awhile since I've seen updated this lovely blog, so instead of trying to focus on one thing that I've learned over the past month or so, I'm going to give a "top ten" list of things that I'm finding out about working with InterVarsity at Creighton. Some are serious, some are goofy...all are relevant! (If you're wondering what 'Ahoy!' moments are, they're very similar to 'Aha' moments, but more related to water/seafaring/sinking/swimming. I'm telling you, it's going to be hard, but I'm going to carry out my blog title's theme the rest of the year!)

1) Working with InterVarsity does not protect me from UV rays: "Oh dear heavens," is my usual response as I glance up at the blazing noonday sun. My Irish/English heritage does not serve me well in any situations pertaining to the sun. My skin is very similar to a mood ring, except the only colors I have are pasty white and lobster red (which corresponds to the mood of frustration). Couple this with my flaw of forgetting sunscreen, and what I have is a recipe for disaster. I've learned that although there are definitely perks of working with InterVarsity, supernatural protection from the sun is not one of them...which is a bummer. I don't know if it exists, but I think I'm going to significantly boost the sales of Banana Boat's SPF 95 sunscreen.

2) The campus really is a mission field with great opportunities: Tuesdays are often our "proxy station" days, where we use a large-and-in-charge tri-fold plywood board with various questions to engage the students and ask how faith relates both personally and with certain topics (war, economy, dating, etc). The interactions and conversations we've had with certain students have been great, and it's been a great way for InterVarsity to have a presence on campus. What I've been discovering (or rediscovering?) is that students of all grades are in need of Jesus, community, and transformation. Don't get me wrong...students at CU are fantastic and have tons of maturity and leadership. But broken families, an insatiable desire to succeed, and emotional brokenness are just a few things that some of the students at Creighton have discussed with me. It's my hope that as the school year continues, InterVarsity can be a place of healing, friendship, and renewal.

3) It really is all about Jesus: As the school year rages on, I am reminded over and over again of the importance of seeking Jesus' renewal in the midst of it all. Going through the motions, trying to pull off different campus events, and hoping that my own strength/energy/personality will last...none of it works for very long. I feel like I've come to multiple points during the first couple of months when I've been restless, almost as if I know that I'm trying too hard. It's in those times where I feel like I know that God doesn't want me to just do things for him...but also with him.

4) I have a limit to the amount of coffee meetings I can have during a day: "Sure, I'd love to grab coffee with you sometime!" is a common statement of mine in conversations with students. 2 wake-up coffees, 3 student-meeting mochas, and 2 staff-meeting espressos later, my hands are usually shaking, the room is spinning, and the student I'm talking to has 4 heads. I love meeting with students, though, as this is really when I get to get to know and care for students on a deeper level. Having 1-on-1 conversations with them is key to caring, advising, and challenging for them...I just need less coffee. Decaf please.

5) "God answers prayers" & "prayer is power" is more than just a saying: I've been realizing that when people in ministry talk about the importance of prayer, they aren't lying. Whether it's a focused prayer, such as wanting a specific person to show up to Bible study, or a more vague prayer of wanting the Spirit to move in our students, I've seen those prayers be answered. My own leadership ability only goes so far

6) 14,000 foot mountains are not as easy as they sound or look: Even if they have rounded tops and look like a hill that I rolled down as a toddler, "14ers" are like porcupines. Real cute to look at, not real cute to mess with. On Friday September 9th, 5 Creighton guys and I traveled with about 30 other men from Nebraska and Iowa InterVarsity chapters to Denver, CO. The quest? Climb all of Quandary Peak's 14,265 feet. Oh, and survive. That too.

After 10 hours of driving, an acclimation hike, a large pizza buffet, and a whopping few hours of sleep, we started the ascent. As the sun rose above the surrounding mountains, we focused on the peak. Is that it? It doesn't seem very high... were words that were uttered in the beginning. Almost in spite, the mountain seemed to get a lot steeper, as if a mountain manager man had pushed the "increase incline" button. But, with thighs, calves, and lungs burning, I victoriously reached the top!

7) I'm not a huge fan of decisions: As I try to decide my next step in my young life, I'm beginning to realize that decisions make me a bit uncomfortable. Choosing one thing means that I'm not choosing something else, which is kind of painful and unnerving. [Example: Yeah, I think I'll have the turkey sandwich. Wait...but what about ham's feelings? Oh my, and chicken is always delicious...gosh. I guess I'll either have all three or won't eat!] Can't I just have all of the options? What about bigger decisions? Is it possible to go to medical school while working on a college campus and performing as a trapeze artist in a traveling circus? Unfortunately, no. (Okay, so I'm mainly focusing on the first two... the last is a pipe dream) The other difficulty with choices is that God wants a part in the decision process, which I usually forget. It should help, but too often I try to reason things out on my own, ending up frustrated and more confused than when I started. So that's my hope for this year: that I can seek the guidance and wisdom of the One who is a much better decision-maker.

8) God is good: And patient... and loving... and powerful... It's something that I hear all the time, but sometimes forget. Seeing God show up in powerful ways through conversations, students, and answered prayers is pretty awesome. I don't think it's a coincidence that when I stray from Him that things start to seem a lot harder, but when I'm clinging to God I begin to see Him at work all around me and on campus. As I open my eyes to the things around me, I begin to see God's hand in everything.

9) Ministry is not all roses and sunshine: I have a tendency to be a bit naive when it comes to future events/plans, and it was not a whole lot different with this year. Part of me expected to walk onto Creighton's campus and experience something very akin to hopping into a hot-air balloon: effortlessly rising (and growing) both as an InterVarsity chapter and personally. But there are growing pains in ministry. As the chapter begins to get larger and I start to experience things that I need to work on in my own life, there's a small freakout in my mind that begins to happen. Am I good enough for this gig? Is it panic time for our chapter? Is anything right in the world!?! When I take a breath and step back from things, though, I can see the bigger picture. The picture that displays God's plan for both the campus and myself. The picture that displays God's faithfulness amidst trouble. The picture that displays God walking with me and our chapter in both the good times and bad.

10) I'm enjoying this year like a mouse enjoys cheese: Through all the happiness and frustration, the blessing and challenge, I'm finding that there's joy in the journey. There's joy in finding ways to put God at the center of my life, joy in seeing students growing into leaders and agents of change, joy in seeing Him breath life into places on campus, joy in finding God in the corners, sides, and middle of life.

A packing list?

So, as previously mentioned, I'm not great at swimming. Unfortunately, I'm not much better at packing. Packing for camping trips, packing to move out of college dorms, or packing to go to a coffee shop--it's all a little difficult for me.

I never understood the question my mom always asked before I headed on a journey: "Are you packed yet?" The anxiety of wanting to get where I'm going has always trumps the need to pack. Do I have my toothbrush, deodorant, and more than one t-shirt for two weeks of vacation? Eh, it'll be fine. Places to go, people to see.

And yet I'm surprised when I start unpacking and realize that I'm just a tad unprepared, not to mention pretty stinky.

And I tend to do the same thing with metaphorical voyages, such as this year with InterVarsity. Instead of involving God in the mix, I tend to quickly grab my empty backpack, forgetting to bring an iota of His power, knowledge, or guidance. However, the past week or so on Creighton's campus with InterVarsity has been a spiritual, emotional, and logistical "packing" before I shove off from shore on this journey down the river. [Note: I'm going to try and carry out swimming/large bodies of water/fishing metaphors for as long as I can on this blog. I mean, heck, the title of "Sink or Swim" puts a lot of pressure on me to do so. If it's slightly annoying, I know--I've backed myself into this corner, though].

Slowing down, pondering 'next steps,' and going through my 'packing list' of things to do and ways to include God on campus hasn't necessarily felt natural to me. However, for one of the few times in my life, I feel prepared: Prepared for the challenges ahead, prepared for the unexpected, prepared for the blessings God's going to pour out as I let him paddle the canoe where He wants to go. The week of planning large-group worship, readying ourselves to reach out to freshmen, and most importantly, preparing my own heart to allow God to use me, has me in a place of readiness. Praying for big things both on campus and in my own life has allowed for a renewal and anticipation, of sorts, for this year.

And that preparation paid off on Tuesday, as we saw 80+ students show up to the first outdoor 'BASIC', our large-group gathering. Beyond the large crowd, great worship music, and gorgeous weather, though, was God clearly moving in the students. Far from being a go-through-the-motions event, it felt like students were engaged and open to what role Jesus might play in their life in college. One freshman student sitting in her dorm room nearby heard a familiar song we were playing and decided to wander down to join the group to worship. A group of girls at BASIC felt right at home, stating after the gathering that "this is what we were praying for!" Another enthusiastic freshman told me afterwards "Thanks for inviting me...this was great. I'm going to invite my whole floor!"

Instead of feeling drained and discouraged like usual, I'm excited about the beginning of the year and amazing possibilities. I guess including God in the planning team for this year at Creighton is a good idea...what a crazy concept, right?

I want to give glory to God. Amen.

Do I get floaties?

I can't swim.

Ask my mom. Seriously. Like, if I raced Michael Phelps, I might win...but only because he's laughing too hard at my attempts to swim. Treading water is only safe for me if I'm standing in the shallow end. Or a kiddie pool.

Consequently, the phrase of "sink or swim" doesn't leave me with many options. Sink or...umm...hope Free Willy comes along? Sometimes that's how I feel about my upcoming ministry intern year with InterVarsity at Creighton. In less than a week, students will be on campus, and I'll be "on the job." Ready or not, I'll be mentoring, leading, teaching, and loving Creighton students, hoping to be a great resource in their spiritual growth. For the entire summer, I had been ready to get to campus. I couldn't wait. Now that I'm here, though, there's a small part of me that wonders if I'll be able to swim on day one. Like Peter stepping out of the boat so enthusiastically to follow Jesus, I begin to see the waves around me.

But my initial reaction to sinking, unlike Peter, is not necessarily to cry out to Jesus for help. I'd prefer to save myself. I'd prefer to reach for the floaties (water wings, if you will) that I packed, blow 'em up, slip them on, and continue to try to splash my way to shore. Swinging my arms wildly, wondering how many people on shore are pointing and laughing, I try harder. I may even make some progress and get closer to shore; eventually, though, I just end up tired and frustrated at how much energy I wasted.

After trying and failing to do it my own way, I start to think about what I actually need. And what I need is a swimming lesson and a good instructor. Spiritual swim lessons. (But also a lot of real swimming lessons).

You know what the great thing is? I've heard that Jesus teaches a mean backstroke.

Though it scares me at times, it may be okay that I don't feel completely confident in my own abilities. It may be okay that my "floaties" of trying to say the right words, act the right way, or strategize too much about outreach events don't support me. In the bigger picture, I don't think the point of my year at Creighton is to just stay afloat or do it on my own. I think a successful year would instead consist of learning how to swim and listening to the Instructor's advice.

So that's what I'll do. When I feel useless, I'll lean that much more on His power. When I make mistakes, I'll find solace in the grace that God provides. It's not going to happen all in one lesson, but that's alright...I've got time. So what's the first lesson going to be?

Learning how to take deep breaths.